It feels like desperation. I want so much to go somewhere, remove myself from this place. My room with its 4 walls and one window just isn't enough. Call me needy, but I want more. I want to walk across a farm, with a bale of hay over my shoulder. I want dirt on my knees from pulling out weeds. I'm done with fancy phones, and fast cars. I'm tired of the new game systems and the ipods. I'm sick of looking at people with over sized shirts and pants half way down their thighs. I'm sick of the tilted hats and the broken English. I sit on my bed after I come home from work and the aggravation and boredom with my life almost brings tears to my eyes. I desperately want to close my bedroom door behind me when I leave and never walk back in it. I want to see monuments, to go on tours inside museums, to take pictures, to smell flowers from around the world, to pick strawberries and apples. I want to grow pumpkins, to pet alpacas, to feed pigs. I want to see wooden fences not metal gates. I want to see grass, not littered concrete. I have so much time, yet it feels like its not enough. I want spontaneity. I want to write letters and keep a traveler's journal. I want to love my life.
